the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Shitshow foam night was such a success
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize