i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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