Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
