Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
