It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
