you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
