I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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