Are we in a gay sports bar?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
