the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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