White coat. Heels.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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