i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
