who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
