Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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