I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The Olympian is in my bed
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
