You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
