You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
