Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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