new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
