If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
we should paint friendship bongs
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