I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
