Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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