I cannot find my penis.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize