I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
zippers are such a cool invention
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
