and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
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He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
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He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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