SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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