how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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