who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
