Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
