Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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