I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
