explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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