Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
