READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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