I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
