My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
