I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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