Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize