Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
