Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
