college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
