Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm always down for nudity.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
