you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
