My brain says no but my pants say off.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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