They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize