Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
