i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.