when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.