yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
