I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
