dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just forgot I was standing up.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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