I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just had sex bonerless
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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