Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
