i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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