Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
