Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I need moral support for this bender
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
