we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize