Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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