I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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