i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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