He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
